22 | Homebuying Series: Trading Floor Space for Friendship

“If you have a crisis in your life, you'll notice something. It won't be your Twitter followers who come to sit with you. It won't be your Facebook friends who help you turn it round. It'll be your flesh and blood friends who you have deep and nuanced and textured, face-to-face relationships with, and there's a study I learned about from Bill McKibben, the environmental writer, that I think tells us a lot about this. It looked at the number of close friends the average American believes they can call on in a crisis.That number has been declining steadily since the 1950s. The amount of floor space an individual has in their home has been steadily increasing, and I think that's like a metaphor for the choice we've made as a culture. We've traded floorspace for friends, we've traded stuff for connections, and the result is we are one of the loneliest societies there has ever been.” -Excerpt from this Ted Talk by Johann Hari

This felt heavy the first time I heard it, but if you look around, I think you might notice it too.

There are a bunch of big homes and there are a bunch of lonely people.

I don't believe this is a condemnation of big homes and I don't believe home size explains loneliness.

I do think it is a call to acknowledge that floor space does not correlate with quantity or depth of relationships and that the allure of a bigger home isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

A pastor friend of mine has observed a similar patter in countless families "searching for more space". Moves away from a specific neighborhood or community in search of square footage that have led to some mixture of increased loneliness, anxiety, and regret.

Because I want to be clear, I'll say it again - I don't believe this means big homes are bad and small homes are good, but double or triple checking our priorities with a home decision feels uber-critical.

If floor space is the primary driver behind a home decision, it might be a red flag worth noticing.

Instead of laboring over the ideal amount of floor space and how you'll use it, maybe time is better spent evaluating whether your home is an avenue for friendship or a barrier to friendship.

Previous
Previous

23 | Homebuying Series: Hospitality 101

Next
Next

21 | Homebuying Series: 1 decision that makes 1,000 decisions