10 | The Beautiful Gray

My wife described a vision of a piece of art that she wanted to add to our home.

On one side of the painting, it would be solid black. On the other side of the painting, it would be solid white.

Both would converge in the middle to a messy mixture of black and white that appeared gray without being a solid, uniform gray. The "Beautiful Gray" is what she called it.

Not that we are old, but as we add years to our life experience it is becoming more apparent that the squishiness, ambiguity, and uncertainty of "gray" defines nearly every life experience that involves people.

There are no "perfect" answers or "clear" understandings, only trade-offs, emotions, differing perspectives and values, incomplete communication, and ever-changing facts and circumstances.

Yet, this reality is all too easy to forget each day.

The innate desire for black and white leads to...

Relationships that become rigid and transactional instead of nimble and forgiving.

Past decisions that are declared a wild success or are crippled by feelings of shame and regret.

Labels of rich or poor, Conservative or Liberal, friend or enemy, supporter or detractor.

Outcomes (outside of sports!) that are either a win or a loss. Nothing in between.

I've received the advice that if a decision seems too big then it is probably more than one decision.

I would add that if a decision or conversation seems too emotional or complex then there is probably more "gray" to be acknowledged.

It seems like the ability to see and talk about the "gray" is unique and infinitely more important than seeing and talking about the black and white.