50 | More Context, Please!
This post is Part 2 of 3 of the "Promoting Transparency Instead of Perpetuating Taboo" series.
There are two primary ways we communicate about money that compound its taboo-ness.
There are the things we say that only serve as gas on the fire of things we observe...
"We can't afford" when we've actually just chosen to spend on something else.
"We really screwed up" when it wasn't actually a bad decision, but only new information that came to light and made hindsight 20/20.
"Once we 'catch up' or 'get ahead' then everything will be better" without acknowledging that "more" doesn't actually change our relationship with money.
The list of phrases is endless, but the themes are eerily similar every time - emphasis on non-critical, ambiguous details, single points in time, and things that are out of our control.
Then there are the things we don't say that leave us all filling in the blanks with an infinite list of "whats" and no accompanying "whys".
What we have experienced in the past with money - good or bad.
What we have observed family and friends do with money - good or bad.
What part of our finances feels like a function of luck - good or bad.
What part of our finances we wish was different - good or bad.
What we know about the future - good or bad.
What we don't know about the future - good or bad.
The reality is that these thoughts and feelings actually drive our decisions and feelings of well-being, but our tendency to reduce money stories to "I-see-what- they-bought,-so-I-must-know-their-story" leads us to believe that "more" spending means "more" wealth which means "more" well-being.
What we observe and discuss only perpetuates the taboo nature of money and obscures the fact that, regardless of our actual level of financial wealth, the exact same emotions and challenges impact every single one of us…