56 | Love The Game Beyond The Prize

To this day, intramural flag football remains one of my top memories of time at UNC-Chapel Hill.

I played on men's teams and co-ed teams. I played multiple seasons with my wife, my brother, and my sister on the same team. Some of our very best friends to this day played on these teams too.

I can still remember specific plays like they happened yesterday.

The Anderson to Hill hook-and-ladder to win our first men's championship. Anderson's toe-dragging interception in the endzone to seal a win in a rainy semifinal game. Rebecca's diving catch to extend a game-winning two-minute drill. Keith's punt return touchdown to clinch a semifinal win. The list goes on and on...

Many of these games established a rivalry against a team named Red Bull Carolina. We played them in the semifinals or finals nearly every season and the game always served as the de facto championship game.

During my final year at UNC, we joined up with Red Bull Carolina to play in a national tournament in New Orleans over New Year's. Some of their players and some of our players - the 2010 version of a college intramural super team.

In the weeks leading up to the tournament, we practiced by the twilight of the moon and street lights trying to mesh two teams. We got to know one another personally. We invented new plays. We told stories of previous tournaments. One story that stuck out was a prior year loss to the University of Nebraska team who went on to win the championship.

In the final days before Christmas Break, we were particularly focused on ways to beat Nebraska if we were to play them again.

All of us carpooled from North Carolina to New Orleans a few days after Christmas. We arrived and explored the city together, did final walkthroughs of plays, and were ready to roll when the tournament started.

We blew through our opponents in the first couple of games. I can't remember who the schools were as we were locked in and only concerned about getting the opportunity to play Nebraska again.

The night before the Nebraska game I can remember our whole team congregating in one hotel room to talk about the game. Clay, our team captain, told us the story of losing to Nebraska the year before. We also all shared stories of how our perceptions of one another had changed over the last few weeks as we had turned from rivals into teammates. It was a powerful team building conversation.

Weeks of technical prep, years of experience, high levels of confidence, and trust in one another - we could not have been more ready and prepared for the game.

Game day had finally arrived and we came out rolling on all cylinders. By halftime, we were up 31-9. They had no answers and we made all the plays.

We were well aware of the fact that the game wasn't over. They had extremely athletic girls who could catch every ball thrown their way. They had a guy who was 6'5", 250 pounds who could haul in a catch over our entire group of 5'10"ish, 160ish pound guys. Plus they were the defending champs.

Early in the second half, they scored a couple of times to make it a less than one possession game (touchdowns involving a girl were 9 points for anyone fact checking!).

I can still remember a play call that I made that was a deep pass to my sister. In the huddle, I drew it up specifically to be on one side of the field, and when we broke the huddle the whole team reversed the way I had it laid out in my head - poor communicator, not bad listeners.

As we lined up, I shrugged it off and proceeded anyway. I threw what I thought was a perfect ball to my sister and it was intercepted in the end zone. If I could do it again, I would call timeout and reset.

Sure enough, we held on to a 4 or 5 point lead heading into the final minute of the game. Nebraska had the ball and was driving the field with an opportunity to score to take the lead and win the game.

We forced them to a 4th down and goal from the 5-yard-line for the final play of the game. Score they win, stop we win.

There was no question what the play call would be: fade route to the corner of the endzone to Mr. 6'5", 250 lbs.

My brother, Hill, was our best athlete and the only player for us who could even try to challenge the catch.

Sure enough, the ball was snapped, the receiver came off the line headed to the corner of the end zone, the quarterback lofted it it up for a jump ball in the corner.

Hill, close by the receiver, followed for a couple of steps and then leaped up in the air timing his jump perfectly to swat the ball out of the air before the receiver could touch it.

The kind of defensive play that couldn't have been planned or executed any better except for the fact that a player, who was not part of the original play design, happened to be standing on the two-yard-line, caught the tipped ball as it fell to the ground and simultaneously stepped across the goal line to score the touchdown.

Game over.

Talent. Years of experience. Weeks of prep. Team building. Motivational pep talks. Game-planning. Seemingly perfect execution.

None of it could account for the fluke chance that there would be a girl trailing the play who could catch a perfectly defended ball for a walk-off win.


As Carl Richards says, "Risk is what's leftover after you've thought of everything."

All the talent, practice, game-planning, and even near-perfect execution couldn't account for every possible way we could lose.

In the same way, all the planning and forecasting of the future can't protect us from all the ways we could be surprised with our finances.

Whether it's the global things like a tech bubble, a financial crisis, a pandemic, or a wild housing market.

Or the personal things like an unexpected dip in income, the loss of a big client, a medical diagnosis, or an unforeseen expense.

Every single one is out of our control, all-but-impossible to predict, and likely to change our outlook on life in obvious and imperceptible ways.

At some point, there is a diminishing return to the game-planning, predicting, and accommodating for an unknown future because there will always be a surprise that can't be accounted for.

Instead of grasping for certainty, we can really only build resilience, refine our whys, and try to remember the advice from my grandfather a few hours after we had reported the heartbreaking outcome home...


Previous
Previous

57 | Why a "Financial Coach"?

Next
Next

55 | The Story of the Mexican Fisherman