76 | She Said, He Said

In a conversation with a couple, I started with a simple question to kick things off, "What's your favorite way to spend money?"

The wife shared that going on a date or out to dinner with friends was her favorite way to spend money. The experience of getting ready, anticipating the evening, and connecting with people was second to none in this season of life.

The husband shared that he had grown accustomed to saving extra by eating on the cheap with friends in a way that had led to endless stories and deep relationships with minimal financial investment required. He acknowledged that excess spending to acquire the "experience" even seemed a bit irresponsible.

One totally legitimate perspective that will likely find saving and investing to be empty, meaningless, and detached without some spending on Priority #1.

Another totally legitimate perspective that will likely feel like they are wasting dollars and maybe even "falling behind when saving for the future" if they splurge on date nights.

I couldn't have cut to the heart of our relationship with money better had I written the script.

I think it's easy to think this question should take a backseat to more "sophisticated" topics like investments, odds of retiring on time, or the best credit card rewards.

This is a mistake.

No hack, planning tactic, or investment idea can compensate for these differences in perspective.

It's too easy to think more money is the solution, but more money doesn't change either of these perspectives - at best it allows them to be brushed under the rug still co-existing in an awkward, unspoken kind of way.

More times than not, it's not the amount of money that matters, but our relationship to it.