97 | Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!

Everyone loves to give the advice that you just have to communicate better. “Communicate, communicate, communicate!”

At times, I have found the advice to be somewhat abstract and hard to conceptualize in a practical way.

At the core, I think the advice is trying to acknowledge the gap the often grows between our whats and hows and our whys.

For some reason, it becomes more awkward to share our whys over time. Kids don’t seem to have a problem doing it, but it doesn’t feel like it’s the same for adults.

Once we stop talking about our whys, then we’re stuck trying to connect the dots between the whats and hows that we observe.

Look no further than personal finance, to find an arena that begs us to focus on the whats and hows without regard for the whys time and time again.

Recently, I was chatting with a friend who desires to care for his mom as she moves into the next phase of life.

He has a sibling who deeply cares for his mom's well being too.

In this particular case, the friend was primarily considering whether or not it made sense to buy a house for his mom to rent from him to solve her transition need.

The sibling of the friend quickly wondered why his brother even needed to be involved at all - the mom had the resources to buy anything she could need.

To add an easy layer of possible misunderstanding, there was a significant difference in financial savviness of each sibling - one was starting with the only way he could think of that might work and one knew all the ways it could work.

Not to overstate it, but it was easy to see how a single what and how was quickly taking the stage ahead of the original why and running the risk of leading to misunderstanding, unnecessary tension, and in a worst case scenario diluted levels of trust.

Refreshing each sibling’s perspective on what they were trying to accomplish was 10x (maybe infinitely!) more productive than discussing the ideal property, the impact of interest rates, the best structure of a lease, or the down payment required.

I think the abstract advice of “communicate, communicate, communicate” is really getting at tell your why and tell it with clarity, authenticity, and truth - even when it is hard or a little awkward to do.